An exciting Mithraic Temple complex was discovered by our team during the construction of Heathrow's Terminal Five. The remains include a number of funerary monuments, as well as a likeness of the Roman God Valigia, a little known deity who was worshipped by the messenger corp of the Roman Army. These messengers customarily carried their dispatches in sturdy leather pouches called Valigie, which gave us the modern French word 'valise', meaning suitcase. A large number were unearthed during preliminary construction work, which led directly to the discovery of the temple. We secured the site pending completion of the terminal, and kept it under wraps until now.
The remains were discovered in the path of the 11 mile underground baggage conveyor complex, which had to be re-routed by several hundred yards as a result. Next time you check in to Terminal Five, please be patient, and try to understand that the fact your bag zig-zags half way out across the runway and back is so as to avoid damaging these precious classical artefacts! We're planning to start a more detailed excavation in April, during which - sorry folks! - a number of flights are expected to be re-routed to a sixth, temporary Terminal, on the far perimeter of the airport.
Still, it's all in the cause of archeology. If anyone wants to come and see what we are doing, just turn up at the airfield - preferably with an orange jacket to alert security staff that you are there on official business. It's pretty easy just to walk on out, you won't need a security pass or anything. We're also expecting to find a whole lot more structures under Heathrow - so don't hold your breath for a third runway anytime soon!
Written by
Professor Avril Buffon.
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