We have a problem. Well, “we” don’t have a problem, I do. But since I take you along for the ride during any problems (and injuries!) that have arisen in my years of travel, it is only fair that you come along with me during this latest issue, too.

For those of you not joining me since the first crap, I’ve been unceremoniously dumped upon by birds big and small a grand total of 12 times since I quit my job to travel in 2008. I’ve been shat on twice in one day in Myanmar, with witnesses to prove it, by pigeons in Mongolia and the Philippines, and even by a giant frigate bird in the Galapagos. No one wants to be crapped on by a frigate bird. No one.

Because birds were not sufficient, a bat also shat on me during a press trip to the Dominican Republic in 2010. The best part was that I had just finished telling the others on the press trip that I had a “bird problem” and immediately following the conclusion of my story, that bat decided to teach me a lesson. Duly alarmed that this would mark the beginning of being terrorized by mammals too, I warily watched all winged creatures out of the corner of my eye...

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  • Jodi Ettenberg

    Born in Montreal, Canada, Jodi Ettenberg is a former new media and technology lawyer who quit her job after 5+ years of working…

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