To get an idea of how badly airlines might treat your luggage in the summer of 2010, consider the latest offer by The Stafford London by Kempinski. It’s called the “Baggage Emergency Response Squad.”

I’m not making this up.

The squad is on call 24 hours a day, so that when weary travelers step off the plane and walk to the baggage claim, only to find their luggage didn’t arrive with them — despite paying a significant checking fee — they have somewhere to turn. Obviously, the airlines aren’t doing the job.

Here’s what you get from the property’s veteran concierge:

1. Immediate First Aid – Upon arrival, guests receive their own “First Aid Kit.” These customized, complimentary packs are stocked with essential personal items and are tailored for both men and women.

2. Hostage Negotiations – While the guest is relaxing in the comfort of their suite, the squad will consult with the airlines on the guest’s behalf to ensure expedited arrival of the detained luggage.

3. Quick Cleanup – To ensure guests have a fresh start the next day, the squad can also provide fast, complimentary laundering of arrival clothes. Immediate shopping on behalf of the guest to replace necessary items such as a suit for the next’s day’s business meeting can also be arranged.

A little dramatic, don’t you think?

Perhaps not.

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  • Elliott

    Christopher Elliott has been called one of the world’s leading travel experts. But his focus isn’t on the destination, or ev…

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